Things You Would Never Know Without The
- During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least
- All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
- All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a
woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
- The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will
ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the
building you want without difficulty.
- Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to
speak the language. A German accent will do.
- A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince
when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
- Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open
the fridge door and use that light instead.
- If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most
- Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
- Wearing a vest or stripping to the waist can make a man invulnerable to bullets.
- If you find yourself caught up in a misunderstanding that could be cleared up quickly
with a simple explanation, for goodness sake, keep your mouth shut.
- Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
- A cough is usually the sign of a terminal illness.
- All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know
exactly when they're going to go off.
- When in love, it is customary to burst into song.
- When confronted by an evil international terrorist, sarcasm and wisecracks are your best
- One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them than 20 men firing at 1
- Creepy music coming from a cemetery should always be investigated more closely.
- If being fired at by Germans, hide in a river - or even a bath. German bullets are
unable to penetrate water.
- Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any
invading alien civilization.
- Freelance helicopter pilots are always eager to accept bookings from
international terrorist organizations - even though the job will require them to shoot
total strangers and will end in their own certain death as the helicopter explodes in a
ball of flames.
- Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper clippings - especially if any of their family
or friends have died in a strange boating accident.
- All computer disks will work in all computers, regardless of software.
- Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are
deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
- When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
- Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying
entire cities to waste by their actions.
- You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
- Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the
door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
- You can tell if somebody is British because they will be wearing a bow tie.
- When driving a car it is normal to look not at the road but at the person sitting beside
you or in the back seat for the entire journey.
- An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an
eight year old child.
- Having a job of any kind will make father's forget their son's eighth birthday.
- Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their
- If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert in Nuclear Fission
at age 22.
- The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love.
Source: from internet:
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